


Dancing with Your Ghost

by liza (alwyn)



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: But it's Too Late so does it even count?, F/F, I hope this hurts to read as much as it hurt to write, Suyin finally fucking apologizes for something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26675488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwyn/pseuds/liza
Summary: Kuvira knows she isn’t owed any favors. But she asks anyway.
Relationships: Suyin Beifong/Kuvira (implied)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Dancing with Your Ghost

It'd caught her by surprise. Just a slip, quick and seemingly harmless. It wasn't until her adrenaline dampered that she realized there was a pain so full and so demanding just at the outskirts of her ribcage, clawing its way up into her chest.

"... oh."

It was a breakneck thing after that, knees falling hard into the dirt beneath her, hands coming up to grasp at her uniform in confusion. A shroud of smoke streaked against the sky, and the brief recognition that the mecha suit had gone up in stacks passed through Kuvira's mind. 

_I_ _t's okay, I'm okay. This is not how this **ends**. _Jaw set, gaze fixed on dribbles of blood that weren't soaking up the dirt minutes before, she dug her hands into the earth, urging it to take form beneath her. A measly stoop rose up and with it, so did Kuvira, breathing heavy. "This is **not**.. _**over**_!" The ground quaked beneath her, reticent but there, as The Great Uniter clumsily pivoted to face whatever – whoever – awaited her.

"Kuvira, _stop this!_ You've done enough damage. It's time to give up." If it weren't for the white-tipped flames scorching her insides, Kuvira would have laughed. Suyin stood a few yards away, arms and legs poised for a fight she wasn't going to get; the Avatar and her motley crew of traitors seemed to sweat it out at Su's behest, perched at building's edge anxiously. It wasn't until her _protégé_ grimaced into a half-assed defensive stance that Suyin noticed the burgeoning stain along her dress coat.

"Oh, Kuv–––" In the lapsed window of time Suyin lowered her arms – and with them, her guard – Kuvira fired a series of metal panes from their designated place on her uniform.

And missed.

Severely.

Suyin flinched reflexively, but recovered in stride as her eyes followed the wayward strips into the ground.

She had never seen Kuvira miscalculate so miserably, even as a young child coming into her power. Pieces of her were already falling away.

" _ **No!**_ _"_ Kuvira thrusted her hands forward a second time, losing her footing as the metal panes resisted her force, detaching in contorted masses before burying themselves into the dirt beneath her. Her back took the force of the fall, no longer in step with the earth's energy––nor the very composition of her uniform.

For the first time, she called, and the earth refused to answer.

"No, no, _no_." It was a strangled cry that broke through the contracted pain of her aching chest. Smoke had washed away most of the blue that had been there earlier, in the Before; patches of cerulean peeked through uncertainly, only to vanish again with a swift gust of wind. These were the remnants of an Almost Empire, and Kuvira would disappear with them. Was she ever here at all? Years living in Zaofu, serving Su, drinking in the privilege that inevitably came with their metal utopia.. to have stolen away for a few years, nameless at first, before falling at the feet of Republic City.

"I just wanted t––to _protect_ them. They needed someone––to take care of them." Her eyes found Suyin's as she forced the words out, gaze hardening at their tail-end. " _You_... You did **nothing**. You let them **starve**. How could yo––– _agh_." Su frowned down at her, hands fidgeting at her sides as she debated her next move. The stain staring back at her from Kuvira's middle had nowhere left to grow, marring even the brassy buttons sloping along her chest.

"I couldn't, I.." And quieter then, "Here, let me help you." The matriarch kneeled steadily, ghosting a hand over Kuvira's uniform before her wrist was caught in a shaking, albeit tight, hold. She glanced over at the younger woman, eyeing her carefully as she pushed Suyin's hand away. The color was moving away from her face faster than her cheeks could hold it; the pair of tears that escaped her looked foreign, like raindrops skating over glass, without the familiar flush that always accompanied embarrassment. Su had seen it in her as a young bender, when she tried to hide her tears of frustration after failing for what felt like the millionth time to learn one maneuver, or as a proud captain of the security force after Lin had chewed her out for not stopping the Red Lotus sooner, standing stock-still in the courtyard after everyone else had left.

“I’m.. _scared_ , Su.” Suddenly she wished she could take it all back: Her refusal to stabilize the Earth Kingdom, her neglect to handle the growing chasm between them, her anger when Kuvira had left and Su told her she'd never be welcomed back. For what? For leaving the nest? For stepping up?

For leaving _her_ , maybe.

“I know.”

“I thought—— ... I thought I had more time. It wasn't s–supposed to end like this." She was shivering in the middle of August, missing the constant, reliable heat of Zaofu's domes. Of home. "I'm n-not _sorry_ for doing––what I had to do .. but I am sorry I hurt you."

“We can–––I'll get a healer, you'll be fine,” Suyin mumbled it unconvincingly, frantically, but her legs shifted to take on the futile mission regardless. Kuvira, however, refused to release her wrist, and in a last mustering of strength, pulled Su back down to her.

"We both know that's not true. Just.. stay here. Please." Kuvira could make out the restless haze of the group behind them, keeping their distance out of respect or awkwardness, she couldn't tell. She turned her head from them upon meeting the Avatar's eyes. _Pity_ , she did not need or want. "I don't want to die alone."

Su did not waver when Kuvira spoke to her again; she was painfully familiar with her captain's refusal to show weakness, even in the face of death. She once found it charming, admirable even, until she realized her protégé had started to hide much more from her than the fear or pain of a young girl. Then the shield had quickly become an obstruction between them, and they both resented each other for it.

“Can we dance? Like we used to?" She hadn't heard Kuvira at first, retracing one memory to the next until she knew just how they had come to be here. When it did hit her, Suyin registered that her first instinct was not surprise – not even anger at such an intimate request – but relief. Relief, and a shameful sprout of hope that they could somehow regain something of themselves. It was Kuvira, the soiled image of unshakeable spirit, who found herself surprised at her own plea. It had snuck up on her in a moment when the world was quieter than before and Su looked oddly..like herself. Like her _Before_ self, steady and proud and **there** , goddammit.

It was not perfect, not even the semblance of a dance they would have performed on the stages of Zaofu. They were no longer lithe limbs and stewards of flawless technique: Kuvira half-slung across Suyin's shoulder, leaning heavily as her boots scraped against dirt; Su carrying the weight of Kuvira's impending death across her back, biting down hard into her cheek as she attempted to muffle sobs that had come over her without warning. It was not them, and that sprout of hope buried in Suyin's stomach dwindled quicker than it had come. It was merely a shadow of them, dancing against the backdrop of a broken city. 

"Navel to spine, shoulders back, pointed toes." Kuvira was mocking her, albeit gently. Her chest constricted unevenly as her lungs clung to what shallow breaths she could take, barring her from more than a lighthearted grunt. "You're losing your edge, Boss."

"Mh. Always keeping me in check, Captain." The matriarch humored her, straightening her spine as much as it would allow, considering Kuvira's dead-weight stance. _Not dead yet_ , she urged herself. "Perhaps it's time you lead the dance troupe, too." She knew Kuvira could hear the watery edge in her voice, and in a stubborn show of conviction, Suyin decided to bury her face deeper into Kuvira's shoulder.

"I don't think they'd be very welcoming, considering the circumstances." 

"Well, it's a good thing I'll be there. Nobody will question you while I'm beating them down with my eyes." Neither could see, but both women carried the smallest smile on their lips. It was funny, how they fell back together so easily; they were both thinking it, quietly mulling over the expanse of three years' worth of bitterness and anger.

".. I wish you would have come with me."

They were no longer talking about dancing in Zaofu, but they continued to sway.

"... I wish I could have." It's a quiet admission that Kuvira might have missed if they hadn't been standing – slumped – cheek-to-cheek. "Maybe I could have stopped all this."

"No, you couldn't have." Su could feel the waver of her protégé's voice with each wisp of air that passed by her cheek; her heartbeat was fainter than Su had ever felt it, fainter than sleep, and she briefly wondered how Kuvira was still standing–––even with her body to lean on. The shade of the smoke had cast a cooler light over the city––––her shivers quaked stronger than her heartbeat now.

"... _I'm sorry_ , Vira." 

"For what?" She needed to hear it. Needed someone other than herself to apologize for all this destruction. She needed to **know** it wasn't all in her head, that she didn't tear everything apart for nothing.

"All of it. For–––for letting you leave. For making you think I didn't care about you or the Earth Kingdom. That was ne–..." Kuvira waited patiently for her to finish. "... I love you, Kuvira. I always have."

"I know." Suyin pulled her closer, suddenly desperate to feel what warmth was left within her, because she was dying, and just like there was a Before, there would be an After–––but Kuvira wouldn't be there, in the After. She'd be an intangible memory, a ghost hovering in the corner of Suyin's eye where a bright young captain – **_her captain_** – used to stand. Her family would move on without regret, and Su would see her everywhere. The pit in her stomach sank considerably upon the realization that only one of them would make it home, and a part of Suyin wished it wasn't her.

".. Vira?"

The Great Uniter was heavy in her arms.

A mangled sob tore itself from her throat when Suyin realized there were no longer two heartbeats between them. Just hers alone, brokenly pounding away in the cavern of her chest.

"Please don't leave, Vira. I'm so s-sorry I didn't––I'm _sorry_ , I'm sorry, please come back to me." An indistinct murmur of voices rose up behind them as Su's legs gave way to the forces of the earth, forces she no longer wanted to control if it meant being so painfully aware of the emptiness within Kuvira's body. She guided Kuvira's head down into her shoulder, cradling her limp body as her voice continued without her approval.

"This is––I know it's my fault. I know, I'm sorry. P-please..." It devolved into incoherent rambling as time moved on, Baatar Sr. arriving at her side sometime after the smoke had begun to dissipate. Suyin worried briefly that the smoke had taken Kuvira's spirit with it.

"No, _no_ , don't take her––– **STOP! STOP!** " Lin had carefully laid her hands upon her sister's waist in an attempt to urge her away, but a series of flying elbows and jabbing nails had forced her into a strong-armed stance, lifting Suyin up and away from her protégé against her will.

"Su, you have to leave her. It's time."

"No! You don't get to _decide_! It wasn't," Suyin heaved her body forward to no avail in a last ditch effort to escape her sister's grasp, head falling forward as she gave in to the backwards embrace. "It isn't fair, Linny.. It wasn't her time. _It wasn't her **time** , do you understand me_?"

**Author's Note:**

> Did it hurt? Did you cry? It's been awhile since I wrote something proper.. please let me know what you think. <3
> 
> Title inspired by 'Dancing with Your Ghost' - Sasha Sloan.


End file.
